tillehdemeepeh

Less than a week later a notice appeared on one of the boards outside the library;
‘Will whoever graffiti’d on the mirror in the male toilets please report to the reception immediately’. Along with a picture of said graffiti.

Danny, Jimmy, Liam, Allie and Sally stood looking at the notice on their first break of the day, then they all looked at Liam who was just staring blankly, shirt sleeves rolled up for once but only revealing neatly bandaged arms, if anybody asked what happened he was just telling them ‘I fell off my bike’. Actually this was just his first feeble attempt at trying to stop his problem.

“What?” he finally realised they were watching him “Why would I write that? Stop looking at me like that!”
He walked away from them.
Sally looked at Danny
“Well, that went well didn’t it?” she muttered, her sarcasm clear from her tone of voice.
“Mmm” Jimmy uttered before turning and going into the library, Allie following.

Allie and Jimmy had been spending a lot of time together in the past week, mainly discussing Liam, and also doing some research into the causes and effects of self-harm.

“Look Jim, I found something here” Allie, who had borrowed some books from her local library was leaning over a page in one of them, she read aloud so Jimmy could hear

‘Sometimes the victim will not know why there are doing this, they may be feeling mental pain but physically feel nothing, the self-harm is just one way in which they can make the pain seem more ‘real’, these cases are not always curable, but a large percentage have found ways of keeping the harm under some sort of control, only a very small fraction actually cause themselves fatal harm’

Jimmy and Allie exchanged a look of fear and returned to frantically rifling through huge piles of books, magazines and archived articles. Suddenly Jimmy slammed a book shut
“I can’t take this anymore Al, we’ve got to get Liam out of here, WE’VE got to get out of here, it’s driving us mad as well as him”
Allie slowly looked up from the book she was still reading
“huh? Oh, right, yeah, I know what you mean, but where can we go?”
“That, my dear, is easily solved, and the solution just walked through the door” he smiled wryly at her.
“Hey Danny”
Danny had, just walked through the door of the library
“Hey Jim, I was just-”
Jimmy cut him off
“Dan, didn’t you say you had a caravan down on the south coast?”
“Uh… yeah… why?”
“How big is it?”
“Err… big enough for about ten people… at a push…six comfortably… why?”
“We need a holiday” Allie said, saving Jimmy the trouble
“Uh… when?”
“SOON!” they both said at the same time as each-other.

“Only if Daniella can go” Sally said at lunch-time when she was told by Allie
“Err… sure… I guess…”
“Yay”

Danny, Liam and Jimmy were off in the music department having a bit of a jam session, they ended up playing one song until it was perfect, not easy with only three people when originally it was recorded with five.
Daniella wandered past just as they were fumbling through it for the fourth time, and she could hear immediately what was missing.
“Err excuse me?” she knocked on the door loudly
“Yeah?” Danny opened it
“Erm, I was just walking past and heard what you were playing, I know the song and was wondering if you wanted another guitarist to come fill in the missing part?”
“Err” his head disappeared inside the room “Hey Jim, Li, Dani wants to come fill in the missing guitar part on ‘I’m not Okay’”
“SOUNDS GREAT! COME ON IN DANI!” Jimmy yelled, he’d deafened himself a little by forgetting to wear his ear-plugs the last time around
She slipped in and stared in amazement at the array of guitars in the room, her eye fell on the Gibson Les Paul.
“C…can I play that one?” she asked quietly
Danny looked over at it
“It’s got six strings, and a straight neck, sure, go ahead, why the hell not?”
“Great” she took the guitar, tuned it within seconds and was off playing the screaming lead of the song they’d been playing before
Liam and Jimmy looked at each-other and grinned

If anyone walked past the studio in the next three minutes and eight seconds they would have been blown away by the amazing sound that managed to permeate the door with ease.

“I’M NOT O-FUCKIN’-KAY!” Liam screamed at the end of it, then opened his eyes, which had been screwed shut with effort the whole way through, to see three faces staring at him, grinning.
“That, was ABSOLUTLY FAN-FUCKING-TASTIC!” Jimmy cried as he jumped up from his drum stool and hugged Liam.

Liam -
Dear Diary
That still looks so lame yet it’s become one of my best friends since I moved out of the house with my mother. Anyway, WOW! We ROCKED so damn hard at lunch time, I can’t believe just how good Daniella actually IS at playing guitar, she works really great with Danny too =]
I admit, yes, it was me that graffiti’d on the mirror, but I’m not going to the reception, it was only tippex, it came off easy enough, I saw that, it was gone by the next time I went in there anyway -_- ok so what it said probably wasn’t the best thing for it to say, but it was true at the time ‘I’m Not O-Fuckin’-Kay’ I wasn’t, I was bleeding for fuck sake, what do they expect from a sixteen year old who’s seriously depressed, got caught up in self-harm, wants to get out of the whole thing, has given up on his family and just doesn’t see the point in living anymore? Hmm?
Anyway, I’m happy right now so I think I may be finally winning over my battle to actually stop the self-harm altogether J I hope so, it’s driving me, and I’m sure it’s driving Allie and Jimmy, all crazy.
Peace Out
Li

Allie -
Jimmy had this crazy idea of us all going on Holiday this weekend… he’s crazy, he’s crazy, he’s crazy, HE’S FUCKING MAD! I mean what the hell is a holiday going to do us all? Nothing but make us all relaxed and vulnerable and I had to go and tell Sally that Daniella can go… Liam’s going to hate me after this, he really is -_- I can just see him now, we’re just standing out side the train station, all five of us, and Daniella turns up and he just glares at me and mouths ‘How DARE you’ this is a complete and utter MESS and it’s all because of ME!

Jimmy -
I think me and Allie finally cracked it, the reason Li’s been doing this self-harm is because he’s feeling so much mental pain from his mothers rejection of him from her life that he feels he should be feeling something physically too but isn’t, well, wasn’t, until he started cutting his wrists and arms the way he is. Hopefully this holiday we’ve got planned should help get all this sorted out. Allie tells me she had to tell Sally that Daniella can go too, I can’t see a problem with it myself but she does. There IS no problem, I saw Dani and Li in the same room at lunch time and they got on fine, maybe it’s Allie and Dani that don’t get on =S I wish I knew, it’s so confusing.
Over and Out
Jimmeh

Danny -
WOO HOO! Holiday, I’m going on a holiday, and I’m going with my best friends Jimmy, Allie, Liam, Sally and Daniella, YAY!!! Ahem ok, I think that’s enough excitement XD I’m going to go to sleep now because it’s very late and I have to get up EARLY in the morning =] G’night
Dan

Daniella -
OMFG That Liam can PLAY that BASS so WELL! Dan’s pretty good on guitar too, and Jim’s good with the drums, but LIAM! WOWEE!!! :P OK, so maybe I’m just a little hyper because they let me play along with them at lunch, but how could I just walk past and NOT play? It’s one of my favourite songs. =]
PLUS Sally says I’m invited to go along on a holiday with them this weekend :D YAY! =] OK, tired, falling asleep, going, going GONE
Dani

Piczo